Fairytalestuck
by Rugiku
Summary: Written as part of my Fairytalestuck blog on tumblr. Multiple pairings mixed with Grimm stories. Chapter 1: Brambleplant Princess - "You were expecting to leave behind the world of troll hierarchy and manners. You were oh, so very wrong."


**Brambleplant Princess**

**So I've fallen into the trap of writing Homestuck. Enough said. Anyway, this was a random idea that came up and there probably will be much, much more of this sort of thing… so, enjoy! C:**

**Ah, the formatting for this site is pretty bad so just imagine the less-than symbol next to all the directions.**

**Read and review, please. xD**

* * *

**== Open the tale anthology**

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and you are a princess. You live at the top of a TOWER which has been your home for 8.2 SWEEPS and is the only home that you know. Your parents locked you in the tower because an ORACLE foretold that you would be their DESTRUCTION. Your tower is surrounded by LEAGUES OF BRAMBLEPLANTS on one side and a LAKE OF GRUBBLOOD where a FEROCIOUS TROLL-EATING DRAGON makes its residency. This was all designed so that YOU CANNOT ESCAPE.

You have heard no carapace or claw of your kingdom for your entire life in the tower but a message came to you one peregree ago stating that you are BETROTHED to a prince in the neighbouring kingdom and that a ROYAL CONSORT was braving the leagues of brambleplants and troll-eating dragon to retrieve you for the wedding ceremony in the OTHER kingdom in a few days.

It is safe to say that you are BEYOND PISSED and that the royal consort is definitely BEYOND DEAD.

Clearly, your parents' SECURITY MEASURES have BACKFIRED on them.

SICK and TIRED of being nothing more than a PLAYTHING to be married off at the most OPPORTUNE MOMENT for your parents, you TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

You properly BEFRIEND your dragon lusus. You LEARN how to ride and talk to a dragon. You PRACTICE hunting and foraging.

After a sweep of preparation, you are ready to head INTO THE WILD with your dragon.

You spend one last night in your tower.

* * *

**== Read Chapter Two**

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are the NINETY-SIXTH ROYAL CONSORT to search for PRINCESS TEREZI. Boy, do you hate this FUCKING JOB.

You started out with HUMBLE BEGINNINGS as a KNIGHT OF THE COURT. You have dodged the task of retrieving the princess for the last sweep and finally, as the LAST KNIGHT STANDING, it falls to you to find TEREZI PYROPE, the disgraced heir to the throne.

Honestly, you think the monarchy is fucking USELESS. The KING sits on his throne and BITCHES TO HIS ADVISORS. The QUEEN SLEEPS ALL DAY and does WHO THE FUCK KNOWS AT NIGHT. The two of them certainly do not VALUE THEIR CHILDREN AT ALL.

The first son was BEHEADED AS A GRUB because the oracle foretold that he would become the greatest hoofbeast farmer in the land. The QUEEN did not want a hoofbeast-herder in the family and had him killed the second she heard the prophecy.

Their next child DIDN'T MAKE IT.

Terezi was the third child and it is commonly known that she was placed in her tower because she would DESTROY THE KINGDOM when she was nine sweeps old.

She would be 9.2 sweeps old now so the king and queen deemed it okay to MARRY HER to a TOTAL STRANGER without jeopardizing their RULE.

Begrudgingly you set off anyway.

* * *

**== Examine Chapter Three**

It takes less than a day to reach the brambleplants and holy fuck, they're huge. They stand three times your height and the branches twist around each other like they want to strangle the life out of the plant next to it.

Upon closer inspection, in some places it has happened and not just to plants. You see the ragged edge of a bloody tunic, one that looks disconcertingly similar to your own.

Luckily for you, you are smaller (and smarter) than the average troll and you figure out that you can get closer by crawling in the space under the thorns. You ditch the horse, cape and fancy armour and flatten on your belly. You figure the reason why no other consort has done this before is that they're all pompous buffoons that decide that hacking through the infamous brambleplants with a shitty sword is the way to get close to the tower without alerting a certain troll-eating dragon.

Safe to say when you encounter said dragon, you flip the fuck out.

* * *

**== Flip to Chapter Five to check on Terezi**

You wake to the anxious roars of your dragon.

You crawl out of bed and peek out of the window to find an unconscious and injured troll beneath your dragon's paw. Turning back to your room, you get ready. Pulling on sensible clothes and scrubbing your face with some water, you finally use the bramble rope you fashioned many peregrees ago to climb down the tower.

A shitty sword lies close to the troll you suspect to be the latest of numerous royal consorts assigned to bring you back to the kingdom. His blood is a pretty candy red that stains the black scales of your dragon nicely.

Your dragon tells you of the not-quite-epic battle that took place and-

* * *

**== Cave and go back to read Chapter Four**

In the time you flip the fuck, the dragon is onto you before you can finish the out.

You manage to dodge the massive claws that lacerate the space you had been in and you attempt to score a hit with your sword, only to create a shower of yellow sparks and a very unimpressed look from the dragon.

A black paw swipes at you and your breath is knocked out of your air processors so hard that it feels like you've coughed up one of them. There is a terrible, burning pain deep within you as the clawed appendage comes down onto your chest and twitches just enough to eviscerate you neatly onto the dirt floor.

You black the fuck out.

* * *

**== Go back to your place in Chapter Five**

-and you laugh evilly at his misfortune. Death is just as blind as justice, you think.

You suddenly hear the knight mumble something and you lean closer to hear. The sword rattles in his limp hand and flashes brightly, blinding you momentarily.

Damn those shitty magic swords the king hands out like confetti.

Your dragon roars in pain and the sword scores a neat cut along its paw. Dragon lusus, afraid for you, gobbles you up and stores you in his heart as the magic sword decides to have a duel with him.

* * *

**== Raise your eyebrows incredulously and inspect Chapter Six**

You wake feeling as if something very unfortunate has happened to your belly fillings.

Better not look.

You haul yourself to a manoeuvrable position with no lack of painful and colourful cursing. You then realize that your shitty sword is waging war with one very angry black dragon and that in the battle, the brambleplants have burned, the lake boiled, and the tower nothing more than a pile of rocks.

You cast a quick look around you, fairly certain that something essential is missing from the scene. Your quarry is missing. Without the princess you're as good as dead if you return to the kingdom.

There is a bright flash of steel and the dragon screeches as your sword breaches the softer scales above the creature's heart. Under the horrible wails, you can hear the high squeal of an injured Princess.

You let loose the worst curse you know and it also happens to be your magic sword's kill word, so it drops to the floor as swords should as the dragon keels over, dying. Out of its chest wound crawls a sodden girl and she lands unceremoniously onto you, whereupon impact you near pass out from pain. You don't even want to know what the princess was doing inside a dragon.

The next thing you feel is prodding fingers searching the guts spilling from your body. You can emit nothing more than a complaintive whine as the fingers stop their search as warm droplets splatter onto your face. When you muster enough energy to open your eyes, you are greeted with the sight of decimated teal eyes - more red than green from a swipe of the magic sword. It suddenly occurs to you that she's beautiful even though she's smeared with the green blood of a dragon, smudged through with her own blood, and causing searing pain in your abdomen. None of it stops you from blurting out your opinion of her beauty. The princess gives you a flat look and probably would have rolled her eyes had she has enough of each to roll them with.

Suddenly she tilts her head as if she's listening to something that you can't hear and after a moment she stands unsteadily and begins dragging your dying body over to the dragon in its death throes.

Typically, Terezi is new to being blind and she stumbles more times than you can count, each time jostling your dirtying innards as they drag on the dirt floor. You would be lying if you said that you didn't scream in pain every time Terezi dropped your limp body every time she tripped. As you near the giant reptile, you feel a tug. It is not the same as the pulling that Terezi is doing to your slashed and soiled tunic, but more a yank on your think pan if your think pan was in your chest rather than in your head.

Terezi then picks you up by the armpits and tells you something about 'soul movement' and 'consumption' but all you can process with your frazzled think pan is how red your blood is on the floor and how green the inside of the dragon's mouth is. When the princess says one last thing which you can't quite hear, you nod anyway and then a huge cage of teeth closes around your head and snaps shut.

* * *

**== Flip hurriedly to Chapter Seven**

You listen as the tell-tale thump of a dead body hits the floor. You're not too sure if the knight knew what he was doing but you explained it to him and felt him nod.

You're not entirely sure what your dragon lusus really wanted - the idea was more of a vague idea rather than specific directions. So really, you could have just murdered the knight by giving him to your dragon.

Well, no real loss. You're strong and prepared. After all you spent an entire sweep getting ready to leave your tower and brave the land beyond...

Who are you kidding? You're barely 9 sweeps old and the only life you've known is inside a tower with an appearafier from which you obtained food and childish toys for grubs. One sweep isn't enough experience to tackle the whole world with, even with a dragon. A soon to be slain dragon at that. You're even blind now.

The realization makes you shiver. Good and proper blind now. No self-respecting prince would marry you now that your pretty teal eyes are nothing more than shredded jelly.

You soon find that crying hurts your eyes more than having them blinded with a shitty magic sword.

Dragon spit makes the stinging worse as well.

"H3Y! TH4T HURTS!" You shriek in a very undignified way and your dragon lusus snorts.

'ITS NOT MY FAULT IM A FUCKING DRAGON NOW.'

You do a small double-take, realizing that your dragon can now speak full coherent words. By Gog, the dragon magic worked!

'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDNT TELL ME THAT SAVING BOTH OUR LIVES INVOLVED MY FUCKING HEAD BEING BITTEN OFF.'

You laugh at the dragon's statement and clear your eyes as best as you can.

"W3LL S0RRY 4B0UT TH4T, NUBBY. I W4S TRY1NG T0 S4V3 Y0UR S0RRY 4SS!'

You hear the dragon huff again but there's less annoyance in it and more amusement.

'4NYW4Y I D0NT KN0W Y0UR N4ME.'

The dragon goes silent again and then you can hear the sound of shifting scales. You're not sure but it almost feels like you can smell the candy red in him, all over and inside. Darkness settles around your seated frame and you figure out that he's curled his body around yours. You decide that you like this guy, even if he was a royal consort.

'MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS.'

You smile. "TH4T'S 4 CUT3 N4M3, K4RKL3S. M1N3'S T3R3Z1, BUT Y0U KN3W TH4T 4LR34DY."

You can smell the angry scowl the now-red maw is fixed in and you laugh even more, one of your cackling laughs that the monarchy frown upon but you can't being yourself to care.

A puff of smoky air gusts over you and careful jaws pluck you from your dirt seat, depositing you gently on his back. You grab the spine in front of you, finding no purchase in the black scales under your flesh.

'NOW… HOW ABOUT WE FULFILL SOME PROPHECIES, RAZE A KINGDOM, AND SLAY OURSELVES A COUPLE OF MONARCHS?'

"1'M L1K1NG Y0U 4LR34DY!"


End file.
